Amitesh Chakraborty got down at Dum Dum airport from his hoping changing long 28 hours flight from New York. Amitesh 43, did leave his son Sameer, 12 and wife Shikha, 45 at their home in the USA. They were not interested in joining in his trip to the village in West Bengal. This was the first visit of Amitesh to India after he left at the age of 28. The travel agent had already booked a room at ITC Sonar Bangla where he was to spend the night and move for Kharagpur by hired car the next day.
By the time he reached his hotel, the SIM card given by the Travel agent was active and he dialled his cousin Saurabh, nephew of his father.
"Hello, Is it Saurabh?" He asked. "It's Amitesh, I am checking in to Hotel for the day. Will take rest for the night."
"Nice to hear your voice on an Indian number Shibu, and I won't call you Amitesh but only Shibu. Hope this number will be with you till you are in India."
"Yes, for sure. I am going to keep it for my stay. Hope all is well at your end."
"Now you have come, you can see for yourself what is good and whatnot. See you tomorrow, latest by evening."
Conversation stopped and Amitesh retired to his room. After a short drink, he chose an early dinner and retired for the day.
The next day, as the driver picked him from the hotel and started driving towards Kharagpur, Amitesh's recollections slowly started. He left his city of birth for the USA and never looked back. For him, it was an escape from the crowded, irrelevant, always intimidating place and people to a place where he could do what he could. And he did it in the USA. He grew here but strangely never had any feelings for his city, state or country. While abroad, he did ask his parents a couple of times to join him but did not insist as he thought they would again interfere in his life.
And he was back now when none was left. And for the first time, he questioned himself, was he right? Was it justified?
For the first time, he answered himself honestly, yes, he was doubtful about his actions. What he will find at home? Which had more than 15 persons when he left it, and currently had only two.
Turbulent winds of thoughts kept him disturbing through the drive, and when he reached his own house, the family house, he could feel the desertion of it, as if the voices of all elders were echoing in the wild vegetation, 'So Shibu, you ultimately came here, but with nothing left, nobody left.'
A bare-bodied man in dhoti came out to guide Shibu to his room. There was no air-conditioning still with blowing breeze it wasn't hot. In March, it was spring at its best. That man said, "Dada, you must have forgotten me but I know you well. I was in 5th standard when you left this place. I am Sagar, and I have offered to buy this building. I am now managing my farm. At that time my father also used to say that I should follow you and try to go to the USA. But by the time I did my graduation, everyone knew that you aren't coming back. So I preferred to stay and take care of my parents, grandmother and farm. I am happy in this life."
"Nice to know, that you are a graduate!" Shibu spoke with a sarcastic tone. "And good to hear that you are happy in this life. And you are wandering bare-bodied with dhoti."
"Yes, I am happy. And this dhoti is an option, the better option for me. Father was doing open farming. I sold some land and currently do value-added farming. I have done specialized courses and am engaged in the production of Mushrooms. I also own and operate small size poultry with 15,000 birds. With these, I can spend time in my own home, and look after elders."
Somewhere inside, Shibu was feeling a prick, a prick of the needle which he wanted to negate. "I think if you could do something better and arrange better money they could have spent better life. Look at me, the amount which I could send to parents, would not have been possible had I been here."
Sagar said, "Your parents have kept all the money unspent for you. Dada, they wanted you in their lives, but they died in my arms. I must have done some good work in past that I was fortunate not only to perform the last rites of your parents but also to stand as a brother to your sister. And one thing, your father was last to leave this world and he had given me an envelope for you. Take this from me."
Shibu was getting irritated. He was suffering from conflicting inferiority and superiority complexes at the same time. Sagar was growing in size in front of him, but Shibu looked at his own reflection as a giant as compared to Sagar on monetary terms. He said, "When did he give this envelope? Where is Saurabh? And where is Ankita? And you said you have offered to buy the property, then whom did you make the offer?"
"He gave this letter to me when the doctor advised to shift him to hospital. He asked me to give this envelope to you if you come within a year. If not, then he gave me a 2nd envelope to open and read for me."
"Did you open any of them?"
"No, why should I open when you have come. And I am going now. Cook is coming. She will be here the whole time and you can ask her whatever you want to eat."
Sagar left after giving the envelope to Shibu.
He didn't open it instantly. After changing his clothes, he sat on the balcony with a cup of tea. The maid had served hot pakoras, and as Shibu recollected the village Muri (puffed rice), she was overjoyed to serve some Muri too.
Shibu opened the envelope and started reading. Initially, he stumbled upon alphabets that he hadn't seen for a decade and more, but in a few minutes, he was almost comfortable, recollecting the alphabets which were close to heart before he left India.
"Dear Shibu,
Though you may not feel the need for any blessings, still I have it for you. I am the last of all elders left now in this house. You know all the deaths so I won't list them. It is as useless to mention as it will be trying to find fault, if any, either in you or in us. It is all destiny.
You did send money to us several times and all of it is accounted for. It is in the United Bank of India and the Nominee is you only. You do take the funds and deal with them in any manner you like.
In the rooms, your mother kept some old suitcases, the old boxes. Only you should open then, there are skeletons in them. Before you do anything with the contents, do see the skeletons waiting for you all these years.
Saurabh and Ankita are going to keep the smaller house with them. The bigger house and the adjacent land we want Sagar to take it and he has paid a lot to us. Saurabh has got the details and whatever Sagar pays now will be shared between you, Saurabh and Ankita equally. They still belong to this land, this village. Please co-operate in the execution of papers of transfer.
God Bless you and your family.
Your Father."
Shibu's first thought was,' how he can be so rude to me. I didn't misbehave, nor did I ask for any division of property. I focussed on my career. I chose my way, what's wrong. These old Bengali thoughts, sickening.'
Then, 'No, probably I am wrong. I did love them a lot, but in between somewhere that love was possibly replaced with my urge to rebel and steer ahead of everything. It was my decision, probably they were correct in keeping their expectations of the return of love and affection. I chose to return the money, they wanted the care. Maybe I am wrong. What if my child gets up tomorrow and tells me to raise a bill for his upbringing? Am I bringing him up for money? No, I do love him. My parents, grandparents, the joint family loved me. But I wanted freedom. I purchased freedom, paid them cash for their love. This Sagar, he bowed to their love, I took the love and guidance as restrictions."
With his thoughts, and the letter in his hands he slept.
"Hey Shibu, what are you doing here?"
Shibu woke up with a jerk. It was Saurabh and Ankita. Their fathers were brothers and all of them shared a single kitchen and deity in their lives. All three were single children to different parents but were brought up jointly. They never knew that they had to call themselves cousins. They were just two brothers and one sister. Shibu could forget all his inhibitions for the moment and all three hugged each other, and for the first time in years, Somu had teary eyes. All three wept for some moments.
When they settled down and sat in the balcony itself, the maid brought another round of tea and snacks.
Ankita said, "Dear Shibu, how are you feeling now after so many years. I was worrying whether we will be able to recognise each other."
Shibu, "Yes Ankita, I too thought that we may not recognise each other. But I wasn't worried. At this moment, sitting in this old House I am really thinking that my desire to rebel, to get fast and beyond everything which was here has given me an entirely different life, a better life. Now, when I am back after so many years, without all those who used to ask me to bow to them and touch their feet, without those who always assumed the right to question me, I think that there is a lot to debate as to which life is better."
Saurabh: "It will be useless to go into that debate brother at this stage. It is all destiny."
Ankita: "How long you will stay here? And you could have brought your wife and son."
Shibu: "In fact neither they were interested nor I was. And on the top of it, the way of life we have adopted is that I can't tell them what to do or whatnot."
Ankita: "And what about your visit? Do they object?"
Shibu: "No, they don't have any right to object."
Saurabh: "So you are in a world where even close relationship is also defined on rights. But do you define duties also?"
Shibu kept silent on this question and looked towards the open window. The sun was setting, the sky was playing with colours with saffron and orange occupying the major part.
Both cousins understood the discomfort and none wanted to escalate it.
Shibu: "Tell me about this Sagar. I can't recollect him. Which family he belongs to."
Ankita: "He is my other elder brother. I call him Chhorda (youngest among elder brothers). I used to miss you a lot and used to be depressed at times. Chhorda came as a big relief at that time. He had stood by us on every occasion we needed you amongst us."
Saurabh: " Don't know whether you remember Debu uncle, the maternal cousin of our parents. Sagar is his son. He stood like a rock all times with is, especially when I was out for five years for University."
Shibu: "He said he is going to buy this bigger property."
Saurabh: "True. This was agreed by your father and we do not question it. In fact, there is nothing to question it about. The sale could not be registered in his lifetime but now we must complete it."
Shibu: "I got the letter from father which he gave to Sagar. I will do whatever is required to do for the deal. I am not going to put any spoke in the wheel which was set rolling by him."
Ankita: "That's a good brother. And what is there in the letter? We all know that there is such a letter but nobody knows what's inside."
Shibu: "Father had written that he had kept all money sent by intact, unspent. I don't understand why he didn't spend it. And I wonder why he has to be so rude to say he has kept skeleton in the suitcases."
Saurabh and Ankita looked at each other, then Ankita said, "Shibu brother, do you really think he is rude in writing it? Don't you think that he had more than an iota of reasons to be really offensive for all his and everyone's sentiments when you didn't come here for so many years?"
Shibu noted that Ankita didn't call him Dada (elder brother) even once. And now she called him by name even. He said, "Ankita, you forgot that you used to call me Dada?" This was more to divert the communication and change the target.
Ankita retorted, "Shibu, you are an American now. These Dada, Chhorda are too Indian and traditional to be used for an American. Isn't it dear?"
Saurabh felt this conversation should be cut short as it may not go astray. He said, " Let's forget and stop all these. By the way, Shibu did you see in the Suitcases, what is kept there none know."
Shibu also git relief, " No Saurabh, I haven't been there. Let's go into the room."
All the three went to the room where suitcases were kept. Shibu opened the one at the top.
In the room with a small bulb, it was not fully lit, and the last rays of the day had given space to the shining moon, which was in its ascent. The moonlit light was disturbed by the waving leaves of long palm trees out of the window. In that mixture of darkness and light, all three git a surprise of life in opening that 1st suitcase.
A human skeleton was lying in it, the upper torso only. They were dumbfounded for a few seconds. As the eyes got comfortable with the low light, Shibu touched the skeleton and picked it up slowly, carefully, caressing it with his fingers. Ankita and Saurabh also understood that it was a display unit made of some high-grade plastic.
Shibu spoke, "Father bought this for me when I was in class 8. I wanted to become a doctor at that time and insisted on this. Later, in class 11 insisted on taking up Economics. But always kept this piece carefully. Its lower part was also there."
Ankita and Saurabh didn't say anything but held his hands and squeezed, the thoughts of compassion were transmitted without words.
Shibu went through the rest of the contents of that suitcase. It contained certificates of deposits with references to his remittances. It also contained his old books and notebooks. None had any words, Ankita and Saurabh had placed their hands on the shoulders of Shibu. Everyone had moist eyes, choked throats.
After finishing the 1st one, Shibu opened the 2nd one. Yes, the lower part of the skeleton was there. Shibu took it out and within seconds joined the two parts. Ankita and Saurabh both were surprised that Shibu could recollect this after so many years. Shibu also felt joyed.
The rest of the material in the 2nd suitcase were the real skeleton which moved all the three.
There were many bags in that suitcase. He opened it and tens of letters came out. All the letters were written by his father but never posted. There was no way of sending the letters by post as he never shared his address. Shibu was startled, left speechless on seeing the letters. Ankita and Saurabh also were rendered speechless.
Shibu picked up the second bag, it also contained tens of letters, all written by his mother. The next bag also contained letters, grandfather, grandmother, uncle. Shibu was in a state of shock, he emptied the contents of all bags. Letters were flying around him. The fan was on and in that breeze, they were floating in the air, some were dropping in the floor, only to float again. He was madly picking them, reading a word, dropping it, picking another.
Saurabh tapped the hands of Ankita and both left silently, leaving Shibu with his mound of letters, and a standing human skeleton made of plastic. Shibu got a paper in his hand. From the date, he could sense it was the last letter from his mother who died two years back.
Dear Shibu, why you are not coming I just do not understand. We never knew you hated us so much, but we never did anything bad to you. I am terminally ill. I just overheard the doctor telling Sagar that I have only a week to live. No use telling you, still I am telling, I called Sagar and asked him to do perform my last rites along with Saurabh and Ankita. You did abandon us, but today I am abandoning you. Still, I say, May God Bless you. May he forgive you. "
The sentences he read in other letters had already choked his throat, filled his heart with a pain which he never felt in his quest for progress, money and material.
This last letter of mother, and Shibu could not hold back himself. He went mad, berserk, wailed probably for the first time in his life, shouting only one sentence, "Please forgive me, please forgive me, please forgive me".
Ankita and Saurabh watched him from a distance, both crying, silently. Sagar heard the shrieks of Shibu and came rushing. He understood. None had anything to do, no consolation. Sagar pulled Shibu out of the mound of letters, and all the four hugged each other, joined after 15 years in mourning.
They were mourning the skeleton in suitcases.
Anup Mukherjee "Sagar"
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